Confessions of a Bibliophile

This is what I get for randomly putting on free or cheap ebooks on my Kindle without previewing them first. Of course, you really can’t tell how good or bad a book’s going to be until you’ve read, but still. After finishing this, I wanted to slap myself.First off, this is so boring that I ended skimming the last quarter of the book just to get to the end. I don’t care about any of these characters. They’re all the same stereotypical YA dystopia/paranormal/fantasy-esque leads—plain girl who’s super special and needs protection; Love Interest 1, a douchebag; Love Interest 2, nice guy who turns into a douchebag; and the jilted best friend who ends up as Love Interest 3. (Because a love triangle just isn’t enough in this book.) And the writing. This is ultraviolet prose at its worst. I’m assuming that the overtly flowery language is supposed to be a result of the antiquated society, but it’s just awful and stilted. And this isn’t even adding in the massive abuse of ellipsis’s and italics, used almost to the point of parody. (And I’ve been guilty of italic abuse.) It’s the weakest possible way of writing conflict and tension, and honestly, the author should have gotten a decent editor to look over this. The world-building is weak. There’s a quasi-steampunk society of spheres that used to be the United States, constructed during a massive meteor strike in the 1890s. I could possibly run with this. except it feels more like an excuse to shove the heroine into pretty dresses. But then we find out that there’s two societies of ‘savages’ (*seethe*) living in the outside world. And one of the societies has a modern way of living with nice houses and community centers and democracy and nice clothes, but they’re not as nice as the ones in the sphere. And the other outside society is a band of pillagers. What pisses me off here is that there is no difference between either one of the two ‘main’ groups aside from outside appearance. This is supposed to pick up a hundred and forty years after the prologue scene, and both groups conveniently have a similar culture and manners of speaking? Oh, and by the way, using overly flowery archaic language is not the default speaking pattern for time periods pre-late 20th century. I can somewhat excuse the use of it in the sphere, but the use of it in the 1890 flashback is WRONG. You can’t put any old fashioned language into a certain time period, just because “Oh, well, it’s old-timey!” And why do the people living on the outside have the exact same way of speaking? Even coming from the same source, the differences in the culture would have differences in the speaking patterns and terminology. And yes, there is more than enough time for cultural differences to emerge. (Sorry, doing research on the 1890s right now /research rage.)But research fail is not why I hated this book. So, the plot of this book is that the one major clan—the civilized one—is looking to negotiate an exchange with the people of the spheres for women to breed with the clansmen. And they would really like some for the members of the Band, who all inexplicably have gills despite being inland. Oh, and Love Interest #1 spies on the super special Princess being abused and wants to protect her from her abusers, and Love Interest #2 is a misogynistic abusive jackass who wants to take Princess Mary Sue and show her who’s really in charge.I’m surprised at myself that I didn’t give up at this point.So, Princess Mary Sue tries to run away from her abusive mother, and manages to nearly get raped by her just-as-abusive fiancé, and in turn, gets kidnapped by the Band and faints. *seethe* She then wakes up in a perfectly nice four-poster bed and learns that the savages aren’t quite so different after all, ‘Colors of the Wind,’ learns that women are supposed to be delicate fucking flowers who can’t even defend themselves and are only good for popping out babies. She and one of the other women go to bath in the woods with the misogynistic asshole, who decides that this is his chance. And then we find out the Princess’s real super-special ability: she’s referred to as a select. Which means that any member of the Band who comes in contact with her is so fucking overcome with their hormones that they essentially molest her and she just stands there and does nothing. And it gets fucking better—the end of this book is the ENTIRE Band lining up to sexually assault this girl, who just stands there and lets them do whatever they want, with the entire community watching and deciding which one member is most suitable for her to mate with.FUCK. THIS. NOISE.Fuck this book. I’m not even touching on the absolute fail on the abuse that crops up in the characters’ past—trust me, that pissed me off too—but good fucking God. We do not need another YA book that tells girls to be doormats and let guys do whatever they fucking want because “It’s hormones!” and that the only thing a woman is good for is her vagina. And not to mention, this is fucking sexual assault this girl is going through, and it’s fucking okay with everyone? Because it’s for the greater fucking good? NO. NO NO NO NO.Oh, and there’s a sequel hook at the end that deal with fucking mermaids that barely gets explained. I’m not bothering, and you shouldn’t even bother with this book. Fuck this book.